My favourites:
"Do you know one out of three people have a problem with fractions."
"Cavaliers were the ones who wore frilly cuffs, silk shirts and big hats with feathers. Their patron saint was Francis of Assisi."
"The doctor asked me if I practiced safe sex. I said yes. I have a handrail round the bed."
"I excerise every morning in front of the telly. Up down up down up down. Then I do the other eye lid."
I once saw a topless female ventriloquist, She was very good. Nobody saw her lips move."
"I used to think I was great in bed until I discovered my girlfriend had asthma."
Sadly neglected by the BBC in his later years but played to sold out audiences right to the end.
RIP Doddy.
This post has been edited by frearsghost: 28 March 2018 - 11:34 AM