[frearsghost]

The world is a sadder place. The last of the great music hall comedians. I saw him when I was eleven years old and never stopped laughing even though many of the double-entendres past me by.

My favourites:

"Do you know one out of three people have a problem with fractions."
"Cavaliers were the ones who wore frilly cuffs, silk shirts and big hats with feathers. Their patron saint was Francis of Assisi."
"The doctor asked me if I practiced safe sex. I said yes. I have a handrail round the bed."
"I excerise every morning in front of the telly. Up down up down up down. Then I do the other eye lid."
I once saw a topless female ventriloquist, She was very good. Nobody saw her lips move."
"I used to think I was great in bed until I discovered my girlfriend had asthma."

Sadly neglected by the BBC in his later years but played to sold out audiences right to the end.

RIP Doddy.

This post has been edited by frearsghost: 28 March 2018 - 11:34 AM

[semi130497]

[quote name='frearsghost' timestamp='1522236656' post='1374423']
The world is a sadder place. The last of the great music hall comedians. I saw him when I was eleven years old and never stopped laughing even though many of the double-entendres past me by.

My favourites:

"Do you know one out of three people have a problem with fractions."
"Cavaliers were the ones who wore frilly cuffs, silk shirts and big hats with feathers. Their patron saint was Francis of Assisi."
"The doctor asked me if I practiced safe sex. I said yes. I have a handrail round the bed."
"I excerise every morning in front of the telly. Up down up down up down. Then I do the other eye lid."
I once saw a topless female ventriloquist, She was very good. Nobody saw her lips move."
"I used to think I was great in bed until I discovered my girlfriend had asthma."

Sadly neglected by the BBC in his later years but played to sold out audiences right to the end.

RIP Doddy.
[/qu
In response to the tax evasion accusations against him

"I told the inland revenue I didn't owe them any money. I live on the coast"

[Nerima Spireite]

frearsghost, on 28 March 2018 - 11:30 AM, said:

The world is a sadder place. The last of the great music hall comedians. I saw him when I was eleven years old and never stopped laughing even though many of the double-entendres past me by.

My favourites:

"Do you know one out of three people have a problem with fractions."
"Cavaliers were the ones who wore frilly cuffs, silk shirts and big hats with feathers. Their patron saint was Francis of Assisi."
"The doctor asked me if I practiced safe sex. I said yes. I have a handrail round the bed."
"I excerise every morning in front of the telly. Up down up down up down. Then I do the other eye lid."
I once saw a topless female ventriloquist, She was very good. Nobody saw her lips move."
"I used to think I was great in bed until I discovered my girlfriend had asthma."

Sadly neglected by the BBC in his later years but played to sold out audiences right to the end.

RIP Doddy.

These two the most awkward, and then the most funny because of it (?) Loved Doddy

[Mr Mercury]

Saw him at Blackpool many years ago and one joke always stood out....
Man goes to see a priest..

Man..father I want to go to heaven
Priest..well you must give up gambling, drinking and sex
Man.. ok father I will.

A few weeks later he goes to see the priest again to discuss his progress.

Priest..so how have you gone with your quest
Man.. well I've not had a bet and ive not had a drink since we last spoke.
Priest..and what about the sex
Man.. well I was doing fine until yesterday when I saw the wife bent over the freezer searching for the chips and I couldn't resist a bit of how's your father
Priest..then I'm sorry my son but you won't be going to heaven.
Man..and they've banned me from Tesco as well!

This post has been edited by Mr Mercury: 28 March 2018 - 09:19 PM