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Everyone is on a downer ATM. Have a smile at these. Beckhams one are really funny!
This post has been edited by djs: 21 July 2014 - 08:38 PM
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To Lighten The Mood A Bit
#1 Guest_djs_*
Posted 21 July 2014 - 08:36 PM
http://www.gofansgo....e-quotes-by-ma/
Everyone is on a downer ATM. Have a smile at these. Beckhams one are really funny!
Everyone is on a downer ATM. Have a smile at these. Beckhams one are really funny!
#3
Spireite-Karl 
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Posted 22 July 2014 - 03:43 PM
And from one of the masters of quotes and one liners...
“Rome wasn’t built in a day, but then again I wasn’t on that particular job.”
On dealing with player disagreements: “We talk about it for 20 minutes and then we decide I was right.”
“David Seaman is a handsome young man but he spends too much time looking in his mirror rather than at the ball. You can’t keep goal with hair like that.”
On aerial football: “If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he’d have put grass up there.”
On Manchester United ducking out of the FA Cup to go and play in the 1999 World Club Championship: “United in Brazil? I hope they all get B****Y diarrhea.”
On Martin O’Neil’s success at Leicester City: “Anybody who can do anything in Leicester other than knit a jumper has got to be a genius. If he’d been English or Swedish, he’d have walked the England job.”
After a streaker interrupted Derby’s game against Man Utd: “The Derby players saw more of his balls than the one they’re meant to be playing with!”
On Sven getting the England job: “At last we’ve appointed a manager who speaks English better than the players.
“If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well.”
“I’m sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I’d want to run the show. They were shrewd because that’s exactly what I would have done”
“The River Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.”
On his biggest career regret: “Telling the entire world and his dog how good a manager I was. I knew I was the best but I should have said nowt and kept the pressure off ‘cos they’d have worked it out for themselves.”
After Martin O’Neil asked why he’d been dropped to the reserves: “Because you’re too good for the first team.”
On the new offside rule: “If any one of my players isn’t interfering with play, they’re not getting paid”
“Beckham? His wife can’t sing and his barber can’t cut hair.”
On guessing who nominated him for a knighthood: “I thought it was my next-door neighbour because I think she felt that if I got something like that I would have to move.”
“Ah yes, Frank Sinatra. He met me once y’know?”
On pasty Forest midfielder Brian Rice: “I’m not saying he’s pale and thin, but the maid in our hotel room pulled back the sheets and remade the bed without realising he was still in it!”
On meeting new signing Teddy Sheringham: “I’m calling you Edward because that’s what it says on your birth certificate.”
“Telling a player to get his hair cut counts as coaching as far as I’m concerned.”
“I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business…but I was in the top one.”
On the influx of foreign players: “I can’t even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball – he might grab mine.”
On the number of French players at Arsenal: "I bet their dressing room will smell of garlic rather than liniment over the next few months."
On the contents of Posh Spice's missing luggage: "Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when you go on holiday? I haven't had fourteen pairs in my life."
On dealing with Roy Keane: "I only ever hit Roy the once. He got up so I couldn't have hit him very hard."
Reflecting on his drink problem: "Walk on water? I know most people out there will be saying that instead of walking on it, I should have taken more of it with my drinks. They are absolutely right."
On too much football on television: “You don’t want roast beef and Yorkshire every night and twice on Sunday”
Referring to Sir Alex Ferguson’s failure to win two successive European Cups: “For all his horses, knighthoods and championships, he hasn’t got two of what I’ve got. And I don’t mean balls!”
Advice for David Beckham: “He should guide Posh in the direction of a singing coach, because she’s nowhere near as good at her job as her husband.”
On women’s football: “I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud.”
“When you get to a certain age, there is no coming back.”
“I've decided to pick my moment to retire very carefully - in about 200 year’s time.”
“Walk on water? I know most people out there will be saying that instead of walking on it, I should have taken more of it with my drinks. They are absolutely right”
His tribute to Martin O'Neill, who used to manage Leicester City: “Anybody who can do anything in Leicester but make a jumper has got to be a genius”
On England's dismal exit from Euro 2000: “Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes.”
“Rome wasn’t built in a day, but then again I wasn’t on that particular job.”
On dealing with player disagreements: “We talk about it for 20 minutes and then we decide I was right.”
“David Seaman is a handsome young man but he spends too much time looking in his mirror rather than at the ball. You can’t keep goal with hair like that.”
On aerial football: “If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he’d have put grass up there.”
On Manchester United ducking out of the FA Cup to go and play in the 1999 World Club Championship: “United in Brazil? I hope they all get B****Y diarrhea.”
On Martin O’Neil’s success at Leicester City: “Anybody who can do anything in Leicester other than knit a jumper has got to be a genius. If he’d been English or Swedish, he’d have walked the England job.”
After a streaker interrupted Derby’s game against Man Utd: “The Derby players saw more of his balls than the one they’re meant to be playing with!”
On Sven getting the England job: “At last we’ve appointed a manager who speaks English better than the players.
“If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well.”
“I’m sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I’d want to run the show. They were shrewd because that’s exactly what I would have done”
“The River Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.”
On his biggest career regret: “Telling the entire world and his dog how good a manager I was. I knew I was the best but I should have said nowt and kept the pressure off ‘cos they’d have worked it out for themselves.”
After Martin O’Neil asked why he’d been dropped to the reserves: “Because you’re too good for the first team.”
On the new offside rule: “If any one of my players isn’t interfering with play, they’re not getting paid”
“Beckham? His wife can’t sing and his barber can’t cut hair.”
On guessing who nominated him for a knighthood: “I thought it was my next-door neighbour because I think she felt that if I got something like that I would have to move.”
“Ah yes, Frank Sinatra. He met me once y’know?”
On pasty Forest midfielder Brian Rice: “I’m not saying he’s pale and thin, but the maid in our hotel room pulled back the sheets and remade the bed without realising he was still in it!”
On meeting new signing Teddy Sheringham: “I’m calling you Edward because that’s what it says on your birth certificate.”
“Telling a player to get his hair cut counts as coaching as far as I’m concerned.”
“I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business…but I was in the top one.”
On the influx of foreign players: “I can’t even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball – he might grab mine.”
On the number of French players at Arsenal: "I bet their dressing room will smell of garlic rather than liniment over the next few months."
On the contents of Posh Spice's missing luggage: "Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when you go on holiday? I haven't had fourteen pairs in my life."
On dealing with Roy Keane: "I only ever hit Roy the once. He got up so I couldn't have hit him very hard."
Reflecting on his drink problem: "Walk on water? I know most people out there will be saying that instead of walking on it, I should have taken more of it with my drinks. They are absolutely right."
On too much football on television: “You don’t want roast beef and Yorkshire every night and twice on Sunday”
Referring to Sir Alex Ferguson’s failure to win two successive European Cups: “For all his horses, knighthoods and championships, he hasn’t got two of what I’ve got. And I don’t mean balls!”
Advice for David Beckham: “He should guide Posh in the direction of a singing coach, because she’s nowhere near as good at her job as her husband.”
On women’s football: “I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud.”
“When you get to a certain age, there is no coming back.”
“I've decided to pick my moment to retire very carefully - in about 200 year’s time.”
“Walk on water? I know most people out there will be saying that instead of walking on it, I should have taken more of it with my drinks. They are absolutely right”
His tribute to Martin O'Neill, who used to manage Leicester City: “Anybody who can do anything in Leicester but make a jumper has got to be a genius”
On England's dismal exit from Euro 2000: “Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes.”
This post has been edited by Spireite-Karl: 22 July 2014 - 03:44 PM
#notapennymore
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