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Favourite One Liners

#1 User is offline   spireitedave 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 01:02 PM

I recall the late Jimmy Sirrell appointed Sheff Utd manager asked what he thought of football in Sheffield .
Reply "I think it would be a good idea"

Often misquoted it myself during 35 living in Manchester when asked why I traveled to Town.
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#2 User is offline   Benno Spire 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 01:04 PM

Brian Clough
"It only takes a second to score a goal"
Have passport will travel
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#3 User is offline   Bucknobs 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 01:45 PM

Mr Clough why am I in the second team?

Cos your too good for the third team! Now get out of my office!
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#4 User is offline   nattyfred 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 02:01 PM

Mr Clough

I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the country, but I'm certainly in the top 1.
I speak three languages fluently...........English, Derbyshire & Bolx
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#5 User is offline   spireitedave 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 02:14 PM

Mr Clough

Re Offside - If you're not interfereing with play what are you doing on the pitch.
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#6 User is offline   born in 1866 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 02:20 PM

Shankly.

Football is not a matter of life or death.... It's much more important than that.
"It's that simple" © Paul Cook 2012
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#7 User is offline   Benno Spire 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 02:23 PM

View Postborn in 1866, on 14 January 2019 - 02:20 PM, said:

Shankly.

Football is not a matter of life or death.... It's much more important than that.

Another Shankly one I think
"If Everton were playing in my garden I'd shut the curtains"
Have passport will travel
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#8 User is offline   JonB 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 02:27 PM

Clough on disagreements with players "we'd sit and talk about it for a while then decide i was right"
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#9 User is offline   HoneyTrippa 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 02:29 PM

Alan Hansen on Match of the Day referring to Man Utd: "You cant win the league with kids"
There aint no Soul left in these old shoes... since you've been gone
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#10 User is offline   Search & Destroy 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 02:41 PM

Daglish,

On MOTD

you’ve won everything in the game Kenny apart from the UEFA cup

Yeah we never finished low enough to qualify

KK

I’d love it if we beat them, I’d love it
JRID
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#11 User is offline   essexspireman 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 02:52 PM

Ian Holloway, more than one line but it does involve Town

“To put it in gentleman’s terms if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they’re good looking and some weeks they’re not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren’t the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let’s have a coffee” – on the “ugly” win against Chesterfield.
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#12 User is online   Voiceofjoe 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 02:55 PM

From Cantona

"My best moment? I have a lot of good moments but the one I prefer is when I kicked the hooligan."
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#13 User is offline   Oldtimer 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 06:52 PM

Can't remember who it was but didn't some Manger, when told his striker was concussed and didn't know who he was, reply. Tell him he's Pele and get him back on the pitch
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#14 User is online   Johnnyspireite7 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 07:07 PM

View PostOldtimer, on 14 January 2019 - 06:52 PM, said:

Can't remember who it was but didn't some Manger, when told his striker was concussed and didn't know who he was, reply. Tell him he's Pele and get him back on the pitch

Cloughie I think
"Do you think I'm here for your amusement" & good riddance to bad rubbish
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#15 User is offline   firedodger 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 08:09 PM

Played in a friendly for work once, our keeper went to punch a cross, missed and ‘caught’ their striker, he proceeded to roll about on the floor squealing so our keeper says to him ‘get up you puff, I hit my kids harder than that’.
If you do what you always do, you'll get what you always get.
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#16 User is offline   clarevoyant. 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 08:35 PM

View Postfiredodger, on 14 January 2019 - 08:09 PM, said:

Played in a friendly for work once, our keeper went to punch a cross, missed and ‘caught’ their striker, he proceeded to roll about on the floor squealing so our keeper says to him ‘get up you puff, I hit my kids harder than that’.

A Sunday league player laying prone on the floor screaming "ref ref I've swallowed my tongue".
Derbyshire is Derbyshire
Yorkshire is Yorkshire

Never the twain shall meet.
Again
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#17 User is offline   spireitedave 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 08:36 PM

Friend of mine in a local cup final at the Shay,clear fowl in the area,pen awarded.Stepping up to take it ,offender says "bet you miss",ref hears him and adds " bet he takes it again if he does"
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#18 User is offline   AllTownArentWe 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 08:38 PM

"If I had a gun I'd shoot them"

Ronnie Moore

This post has been edited by AllTownArentWe: 14 January 2019 - 08:41 PM

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#19 User is offline   firedodger 

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Posted 14 January 2019 - 08:41 PM

The old Kenny Burns story - Kenny was playing local Sunday league when some spritely young thing skipped past him and said ‘get off burns you're 💩’, Burns replied with ‘how many European cup winners medals have you got laddie?’
If you do what you always do, you'll get what you always get.
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#20 User is offline   metallilad 

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    Music (the louder,faster the better).

Posted 14 January 2019 - 08:50 PM

Sir Bobby Robson stood next to his (Ipswich) chairman in the toilets. The chairman turns and walks directly to the door.
Sir Bobby Robson says to him " erm chairman. We were taught when children to always wash our hands after using the toilet".
The chairman replied " Bobby. We were taught when children to never p**s on our hands when using the toilet". :lol:

This post has been edited by metallilad: 14 January 2019 - 08:51 PM

Life goes on. Whatever happens.
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